Under the Moonlight
by the girl by the downtown caffe
Summary: The pain was truly unbearable, but somehow, the energy ran through my body, allowing myself to roll on the floor just to get a better look of the romantic scene. I glared at them from above, and as Garu kissed her, I knew my job here was done.
1. Chapter 1

The door creaked as a young girl wearing a red blouse came in shyly. She smiled closing the door behind her, staying firmly at her stance in the shadows. The dim light made it hard for me to differ many colors, but her little funny ponytails made it easy to recognize _her_.

"Come in, Pucca" I called from my seat pushing my heavy boots of the table. "There's no need to be afraid." I grinned raising the uncovered eyebrow I had left from my hat. She smiled once more and walked gradually towards me; as if _I'd bite_. Most kids her age where afraid of me, and she was included. Pucca staid far from me; taking out some things out of her small school bag. She threw a bunch of unorganized papers on a folder down at me, probably hopping I would understand; of course, _I_ _did_.

"You want me to research 'bout your _lover boy_, don't you?" I took off my hat uncovering my uneven eyes to her. Pucca took a step backwards. But she nodded firmly, I knew she wouldn't come all the way from Sooga village to here just to run away the moment she saw me. People thought I was creepy, they even forbid children coming here. I find it fun they still believe I'm a _witch_.

I looked up at the frames hanging on my sepia wall. First, there was a picture of me, Ye-ze and Ho. I remember he used to have a crush on me, but, well, Ye-ze had a crush on _him._ But left a long time ago, not too long after loosing his memory. Then I herd he was adopted by a family in the north. Yi-ze was still in town. We both had a secret identity we went into the village with; we where both masters of disguise.

Afterwards, there was a mirror. I hadn't seen my reflection in ages, it seamed. It was dusty and opaque with a golden structure. It remained me of a time when I was young; Ye-ze disguised as me and pretended a crystal was a magical mirror. I was entirely fooled by that one; I even keep the mirror inside my wardrobe 'till today.

In the end there was my certification of graduation at the Sooga School of Young Ninjas at the age of nine. Anyway, it wasn't hard to tell Pucca could have done the same. That made me remember she was at my same room waiting for an answer. I chuckled and glared back at her.

"I'll do the job for you, _Tiny_" I ensured. She grinned turning around and placed her hand on the handle. I smirked as well and said in what sounded like a really evil tone "But" she turned around again frowning. "You'll have to be brave, strong and determinate. Abilities I doubt you discard. Oh, and you must never, under any circumstances, you must not. Act. Against me" I said putting my hat back on and retreating to my original position. "you in?" I closed my eyes. I didn't even needed to see her nod; I could see her chasing that poor boy around the forest every day from my room. "you can go now." I said after not hearing her footsteps. She acted obedient and left my office. As soon as I heard the door slamming I jumped up and opened my wardrobe. I had to pick something good for the occasion. But that moment I remembered the folder _tiny_ gave me. I ran back to my table and opened it.

Through the pages I was able to find any kind of information about Garu. I specially recall the fact that he thought black was hot. Therefore I tried on the only black cloth I had. It was a short kimono with a pair of black pants and some black strings on the waist. I took down the mirror on my wall and placed it far enough to see myself entirely. I stared for a moment; and I wasn't half shabby, not at all. I was perfect for the job. I was glad there was no need to ask Yi-ze for help. It was better when I did things on my own. The papers also said he loved girls with blue or green eyes. I did it even better. In my desk there was a gap filled with all my glasses, there was this especially nice pair of half blue and half green lenses which I tried on. Then came the hair; it said he liked it pitch black, almost blue, so I took out my hairsprays and painted my hair that color. As I said, I was a master of disguise. Now I was ready, I was his _perfect _girl. It was time for stage one of the plan.

**Well, what do you think?! I promise next chapter will be longer, now please R&R!!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! Chappie 2**** is up! This one will be longer. Alright, here we go!**

I planed everything too well before my first strike. I studied his movements for the whole day, and I found out that today a fighting exhibition would be held at the main square of Sooga village. He would certainly be there; unluckily for me, he's friends should be there too. Anyway, they weren't much of a thread, but they were mostly a waste of time. 

As I walked towards my prey, I went past the local noodles restaurant. I remember the sleeping potion I gave Pucca. A single drop of it, mixed with a glass of water would set any person to sleep for at least 24 hours. But I had to make sure she wouldn't get on my way, so I dropped in the whole bottle into her noodles. I saw her there, at the restaurant, laying still on a crystal cage; her uncles crying for her. Then, my mind wondered around the possibilities of how to win the chef's trust back, and to be able to go back as myself to eat with them. But I step out of illusion shaking my head. It wasn't good for a ninja on a secret mission to make friends. And besides, I had something to focus about already.

And then, before I had realized, I found myself at the main park. 

As the sun was standing at its highest set, I was mixing into the crowd waiting patiently 'till the award ceremony began. I was hiding my black kimono with a brown spy-like jacket and holding a radio in my right hand. 

"Today," Master Hiel Kykyu began "I declare you the best tree ninjas of the Sooga village!" and then, it was my chance to act. I took a step into the stage and still covered by my coat and with the radio still in my hand.

"_Best _ninjas?" I asked adding to my face a look mine and only mine. "Perhaps, you've forgotten about _me_"

"Selene…" he revealed my name.

Normally I hated when anyone besides my parents or Ye-ze recognized my disguises. But today it was par of the plan. I needed Garu to know me by my name. 

"Selene" he repeated. "you are no longer the best ninja in the village…"

"no" I interrupted "But I might be in the world."

He cleared his throat to keep speaking over my voice. "This three have clearly outwitted you in every way possible."

"Then I challenge them." I held making him eat his words.

The three kids responded to my challenge and readied their fighting stances. Pitiful.

I kneeled down and placed softly the radio on the floor and pressed my finger over the play button. 

"I shall defeat you all before the song ends." I declared loud enough for everyone to hear. Then I began dancing slowly switching stances from one side to another. Then, as the music raise I began more complicated dance moves, always close to the ground.

After the first ten seconds, my opponents grew distracted and lowered their stances. Few seconds after, the one in black, Avio, I presume, started to color his head red.

"I'm not afraid of a dancer!" he screamed jumping into the air and breaking his shirt, which somehow managed to hit the girl besides him. Her head turned bright red; as his!

A smirk crossed my face. I swear I'd had dropped myself to the ground laughing if it wasn't 'cause _he_ fell right towards me. I acted quickly without much thinking about it and kicked his stomach with as much strength as I could. He fell on his neck, _unconscious._

"Avio!" his little girlfriend screamed.

She began running, with her sword pointing right towards me. My heart beat went up, as I could only find time to jump. Jump as high as I could, and in no time I found myself floating in the air above her, thus, I could do nothing but to fall. I cropped slightly my left leg, as the right one collapsed against her shoulder so hard that made her plunge hardly against the wooden floor. I could almost feel her shoulder break beneath me as she did. I step off her as fast as I could and began dancing away. But another scream stop me.

"Wait" she said lifting up trembling and holding her broken shoulder with tears forming down her eyes. "You aren't done with me yet." She menaced frowning as much as anyone normal could. She let go of her shoulder, pain reflected in her moves, and pointed once again her sword at me. I walked back to her and made a circular motion that ended in a low kick directly to her knee; she felt back again. Then the poor girl tried to get up again with the same result. I danced away for a second time to face my greatest thread: Garu.

I pinned my eyes at him. We circled each other for a few seconds. At the moment, everything I had planned in my mind seamed 10 times harder than it did in my mind. If he didn't act soon I'd have to act myself. And that would be a total disaster. Fortunately, luck was on my side. He threw his ninja star at me. I avoided them with a high jump, stepping on the highest stars I could until I found myself falling in front of him. He took out his sword. I step on it until its point reached the floor and jumped off with a back flip. He was surprised: _obviously_. Then with another quick movement I kicked it with all my might, making it fly away from both of us. He reached for it, but _I_ wouldn't aloud that. His hand blew back with a punch, and his body did so with another of my legendary kicks. Then in no time, we exchanged kicks and punches filling both of our bodies with scratches. It wasn't too long before he called out his illusions.

"That wont fool _me_" I clenched my teeth with a probably horrifying grin. 

They all ran towards me lifting their fists. I jumped up and so did them, but for a ninja like me, it was simple to recognize the real Garu and flip towards him, leaving the circle and pushing him into it. Soon his illusions where off and we started fighting hand to hand once again.

He tried a long series of ninja tricks I don't quiet remember. But no matter what he did, he was no match for me. 

There where only 15 seconds left of the song I had plaid. I had to defeat Garu soon. The tension grew higher. We both knew there wasn't much time left. 

My heart beat even faster as he grinned as malevolent as me. Somehow I felt to deserve the chills running down my back as he breathed heavily. Soon again, we began to fight.

Just 7 more seconds. My eyes widened as the last beats from the song appeared. I glared back to the VCR; He followed my sight, distracted. I took the opportunity and stroke his stomach with my both fists together, just hard enough to feel his breath leaving him. Garu turned back at me with his eyes entirely open. I grabbed both of his shoulders and as soon as he breathed to recover from the loss off air I had caused and pressed them hardly. He fell down on a hard, stone like sleep. 

The fight ended along with the song as I had promised. I did a last final pose and bowed to the open-mouthed crowd.

"Did you actually thought I had loosed strength?" I asked my old teacher with a sarcastic tone. He looked surprised and scared. I raised an eyebrow and he took a step back. My grin doubled its size into a full smile. Then I grabbed Garu's and Avio's weapons without concern. But as I approached Ching's she tried lifting for a third time, with the same result. 

"What have you done to my friends?" she growled reaching for her sword; I took it before she did. 

"Take care of them for me, will ya?" I walked away from her closing my eyes and stretching up a little. The crowd tookdistance from me as I did.

I passed once again in front of the Go-Rong restaurant in my way back home. The chefs where still there. Apparently, they didn't yet knew about the fight. This time I walked in ignoring the 'Closed' sing at the entrance. I did deserve a little treat.

"Hey!" I greeted with a with smile, trying to cover my scratched arms from them.

"Haven't you read the sing?" one of them asked.

"We are not serving" the second one added.

"Not until our Pucca gets better." The third one said.

Hearing them talk suddenly reminded me of Hoh; _one of them shares his name. But what are the others called?_ I questioned myself. _Was it Dumblin…or Dumsing…no…Dumpling! Linguini and Dumpling! _I cheered in my mind.

"maybe I can help with that" I said walking towards the unconscious girl.

I examined the girl for a few moments, trying to remember what the exact poison I had used on her was. 

"It's Rare Yellow Sooga Earth Snake!" I accidentally thought aloud. 

"A snake?" Linguini asked 

"Oh! Yes, she was bitten by a Rare Yellow Sooga Snake!" I excused myself with a sweep drop on the back my head, making two small marks on her leg with my nails. "Here are the marks." 

"I see" Hoh examined the marks.

"But, how could you tell what snake was?" Dumpling remarked

"Amm…well…I…" I doubted for a moment until the phone rang. Hoh left and answered.

"Are you occasionally called Selene?" he glared at me. I nodded almost as a reflex. "Then it's for you"

I smiled at the two remaining chefs and walked away from them. 

"Hello?" I asked glaring at the window. I saw Tobe talking on his cell phone. "What do you want _Tobe_?"

"How do you know it's me?" He asked surprised looking around for me.

"That doesn't matter now. What do you want?" I repeated. 

"I saw your little act today." He probably spitted on the phone "I want you to destroy Garu"

"Why should I do that?" I glared at him from the window.

"'cause I know where your Hoh is."

"What-where-" my eyes wide open. He hanged the phone. I ran towards the exit, but he was already gone, and there was no point on searching for him.

I stared at the window for a moment. The crystal could merely reflect me, but it was enough for me to see it. My arms and face where so full of scratches. Never mind my square shoulders. As far as I could remember, I always looked this way when being my own self. No wonder Hoh never looked me. He liked Yi-ze, and I couldn't blame him. She had always been the pretty one. The worse part, was that _she_ didn't like him. We where so pathetic. I banged the door with my fist. And then it banged my; a blonde boy came in running slamming the door in my nose. I fell back and watched him speak to the chefs in quick scared words. Then they turned to me and asked "Is that true?"

"Oh crap" I muttered covering my face. I lifted loosely and answered to their question. "Depends on what" 

The blond boy turned back to me with fear. He took a step back and peed himself. Poor boy. I'd have to help with his confidence latter. 

"That you tried to kill Garu, Ching and Avio." The disappointment in their eyes pained me like a knife.

"No," I defended myself "Master Hiel Kykyu challenged me and I accepted the challenge. Nothing more. They'll be better soon. It's not my fault the other two got in my way. Please don't blame me." I cried taking a few steps towards them. They where some of the few people who took me nicely as Selene. 

"We don't blame you." Linguini comforted me.

"Besides, if you say they'll be fine it Okay."

"But we want to know why you did it." Hoh spoke as an authority.

They're words echoed with happiness and relieve. 

"Thanks for your comprehension." I smiled "But I cannot tell you why I did it."

The tree nodded in agreement, and the boy smiled somehow more confident. I smiled too. Maybe, it wasn't so bad to have more friends.

**Oh! It's the longest chapter I've written in my whole life! And I'm proud 'bout it! Now DO revew!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, considering my block, this is something really _really long!!--but it's still shorter than the last. Anyway, enjoy!!_**

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_**My walk home was terribly long and exhausting

My walk home was terribly long and exhausting. The path I took seamed to extend as I walked through it. Every step would pain me as a dagger incrusted in my feet. Did no body told that Garu to never-ever hit a girl? Well, he'd probably be excused 'cause I hit him first. Anyhow, why did he kick so hard? He didn't even knew me, so how could he be angry at me? Maybe, it just wasn't me who he was angry at. Maybe, it was because his true love had fallen into an impenetrable sleep while he was just wondering around as the true idiot he is. Oh, I knew he loved her! I'd just had to prove it! But why _would_ I prove it? I had a reason now, but yet I could not quiet remember why I agreed in the first place. At the moment, when Pucca walked into my 'office' it seamed so easy and harmless, just to expose a little boy; whatever I'd have to do didn't matter…until now. Now there was another ninja, his live-lasting rival, asking me to entirely destroy him, screw all he had worked for, and offering me the highest of prizes: to get Hoh back. I had loved him since I was just a child, not denying I still was. My head ached at his thought, the love was so great I could still feel the pain of his departure, and to overgrow his loss of memory…but to actually kill someone? I was twelfth, how did someone, anyone would expect me to actually kill? The following thought hurt me even more than the last, but I had to admit it was the most simple of answers, the most _logical. _What if I fell in love with Garu? Then I wouldn't have to kill him, nor to support the pain of Hoh, nor to stop being a ninja. I denied it. I would not betray Pucca, I would not betray my friends, and I would definitely not betray myself.

I opened my eyes again to find I was already standing past the park. I hadn't sat down in hours. _This _thought felt like a demolishing ball on my legs, followed by tremendous relive when I saw a bench, cold and still, almost calling me to sit on it. Energy filled my body again as I raised towards it, and soon, it was besides me. I left my body loose and banged against it, my legs didn't even fit in. It was much harder that I had expected, but I didn't care. I stretched every mussel I knew I had, and a few I didn't. Then closing my eyes, just for a second, I fell asleep. Such a soft sleep. Relaxing, calming, peaceful… Until _she_ woke me up. The dammed girl kick my floating leg with her healthy one making me jump up.

"Aww…" I complained.

"Guess you aren't half as strong as they said." She mocked half closing her eyes and racing her eyebrows as if deception.

"Guess _you _aren't half as sweet." I copied her expression and mocking tone.

"Shoot." She sat besides me.

I looked down at our legs. She was wearing two wooden tablets covered by bandages on her knee. My sight lifted until reaching her shoulder. It was covered by a plaster that held her arm up; I would have entirely thrown up myself with guilt if she hadn't spoke before I did.

"Now give me back my swords." Her tone went back to anger.

"What?" had she just screamed at me? She asked for it "Why don't you ask your useless boyfriend to get them back for you?"

"What?" she repeated.

"I said…" I began

"I herd you" she claimed. She was really getting on my nerves now. "But you should still give them back"

"Why should I?" I mocked standing up "you're hurt and unarmed." Her face went immediately bright red.

"Just give them back!"

"I was planning to send them back thru mail along with a box of chocolate but if you want them now" my tune sounded more honest than it should. She giggled. It made me feel guilty again, so I took them out of the bag on my back.

"You win, here you go."

"Thanks" she smiled "Guess you aren't that mean." Was that a compliment?

"When did we go back to the guessing?" I grinned.

"Guess" she laughed. I merely smiled. For I second I felt human. Thou I knew it wouldn't last long. We both sat in silence again. It was truly getting late, and I was really getting annoyed. I _wanted _to leave. I was making more friends already.

"I have to go" I said impatiently after more minutes of silence. I was walking away before she could answer, and in no time, my house stood in front of me, waiting patiently as always.

My mom was inside just waiting for me to arrive on the couch. When I came in she immediately locked the door and glared down at me with sever eyes. I couldn't stand that look from my mother, it made me feel weak and mean and all those bad things I had ever been called before. She sensed the anguish on my sight, and her eyes suddenly turned motherly. We both took steps closer and hugged each other. I smiled. It really made me feel comfortable to hug her; that feeling of safety as a reward after a long day of fighting, and walking and…remembering.

"Where have you been sweetheart?" her soft voice sifted and circled me with care. "What happened to you?" She slid her hand across my cheek leaning back slightly.

"I had a fight." I couldn't help but to be honest with my mom. Maybe it wasn't the right thing to tell the truth at the moment, but looking at her, standing so worried, caring, loving, it wasn't the right thing to lie either. She looked disappointed again. My eyes fell to the ground. I was expecting a scream, but no words came out of her mouth. She approached me slowly and hugged me tighter. Relieve filled me as a glass of water in the middle of the desert.

"Try to be more careful next time dear." She whispered into my ear. I smiled again. After all the rage and warrior blood that filled me, I loved my mom.

**Alright, that's it folks!! now pleas review!!**

**--love!!**


	4. Chapter 4

"Wake up girl

"Wake up girl!" my dad's voice called from the darkness "It's time!" I glared puzzled at my night table. It was 6:00 am, or so my watch claimed. Why was he waking me at this time early in the morning? "It's your first day of school!" dam it. School. In less than a second, I remembered how I had spent the summer vacations unpacking, and how the _witch_ thing had spread in less than a month. It entirely sucked. I hadn't been at the Sooga Academy for at least 2 years- the ones I spent living happily-ever-after, as they said, in Brazil. Ah, boy, did I miss those years. "C'me on sweetie!" he kept trying. I just pretended to be asleep, but that didn't seam to save me from my first day of school.

The foggy road that lead towards the school seamed, dislike last night, too short. The high building was soon standing in front of me. The eerie images of my past experiences flowed like water inside my mind. I was afraid someone might recognize me. If it wasn't enough with me being a witch.

I launched one final pleading glare to my dad who didn't seem to notice as he drove me through the metallic arch leading to the parking lots. With a sight I left the car unmotivated. The whole place seamed entirely empty—At least on the outside. Once I got in all the eyes pinned on me as if my skin was green. It was mostly…bothering, the way everyone looked at me. All the kids seamed to know of my bad reputation. But I was sure no-one knew the real ghost that held my past. It was probably impossible for them to image what had happened, and there was nobody there to remember. Of course, there was Yi-ze, but form today, to the day she betrayed my trust, or I betrayed hers, more than a million years would pass. Not even in the darkest moments of our friendship. So it was with Hoh…before. I kept thinking about it ignoring the sights of my newest classmates…ones who would probably never get to know the real me. Oh well I'd better get started with it, so it'd end sooner.

When the teacher introduced me I wasn't paying too much attention. It was better to play with my bag than to confront the sights of the intimidated kids in the room. But I guess I got _too_ distracted with my bag. The teacher had to ask twice what my name was before I actually thought about it. I couldn't say I was Selene! Garu was there.

"What's your name?" she was getting angry. My mind scanned thru all the possibilities until I found the one nickname I had been called.

"I'm Se-se" I remembered Yi-ze calling me that when we were 6.

"Well, take your place Se-se" she seamed glad I was leaving.

The class went by slower than I'd imagined. All the teacher seemed to care about was the correct use of be, have, get and do. Never mind all the eyes flinching from me as soon as I met them—thing that happened quiet a lot since they were all on me on the first place. So on, every moment lasted an eternity, and looked like it on the stopped clock, which's largest arrow kept bouncing from the 5 to the 3.

But as it showed in the clock, it _did_ appear as if time had never passed. The walls, the windows, the grounds, it all was identical to what it used to be. Everything in its right place. The nostalgia flowed thru me without even giving me a chance to fight it back. I could feel my expression falling. _I'm not that weak. _I convinced myself not too cry. _I'm not that weak._ I kept telling myself. And as I did, the class was over. The bell hadn't stopped ringing when they where all out, even our teacher. How impatient where they. I sighted, my hand tracing the marks on the wall. An un-welcomed smile lifted my cheeks as the memories flooded the atmosphere. A second sight escaped my lips. One of the many marks on the wall held a specific memory I sometimes wish would banish and avoid me the pain of the one loss I could never forget. We made that mark together, many, many years ago. It held the location of our time matching. Just some doodles that leaded to the shade of the oak tree. Only at the midday, when the largest branch held its shadow right under it, the location could be found on its fathers end. It was stupid. Too mark it with a tree I know knew someday would fall. But until this day it was still standing. My finger was already on the window poking the place where it should be. I would have cried if the atmosphere hadn't been broken by the annoying little girl I had met yesterday. Was it truly that hard to leave somebody alone? Probably it was, since she seemed too determined to speak to me.

"Hi" Ching called shyly from the opened door.

"Hey." I glared back at her.

"So" she approached me with slow pace "Se-se right?"

I ignored her for a moment, turning around back to what I was doing.

"I know it's hard to be new…"

"I'm _not_ new" my tone was slightly madder than necessary.

"You've been here before?" How kind, could a person be to stand a newbie who screamed at her?

"Yes." I wasn't exactly calmed yet.

"Oh! I probably wasn't—" she babbled pushing together her fingertips.

"No. You weren't." I took a deep breath a glared back at her. And _that _was probably enough to make her leave. _Unluckily, _some other kids where playing bets on me. In no time, the whole little gang was besides me pushing a familiar face towards mine.

Garu smiled at me and raised his hand. I backed away glaring horrified at him.

"Who _are_ you?" My voice broke with fear that he might recognize me "The _Gangsters_?" the group in black looked at each other confused.

"Look," the boy I took out easiest yesterday step closer with authority airs. "I don't care who you are, but you aren't at all superior to any of us."

"Actually" my hand pushed the window widely open "I am." I jumped out with a back flip and walked back over to the lunch area.

The curios eyes followed me there too. I took the loneliest table—witch became much lonelier when I sat there—that I could find. A circle of loneliness shaped around me, with one exception.

"My, my, my." The village's diva stood besides me. "Aren't you the same old Selene, with the same old Goosebumps." She laughed at her own joke.

"And you're the same old Rin-ring with a brand new dye." I grinned as her mouth dropped.

"So your still miss antipathy." She dropped her tray besides me and pulling a chair. "I thought you moved to Peru."

"Yes, I moved to _Brazil_" I corrected her "but I came back". And she was there again.

"Rin-ring! You know her?" her annoying high-pitched voice echoed in my ears. Was she ever going to leave me alone?

"What?" _his_ voice was right besides hers. "We're sitting with the freak?"

"_Witch_," I leaned towards him offensively "If you may." My eyebrows pulling together and showing off my teeth as a vampire would, only smiling when he backed away.

"Yes, I know her." Rin-ring answered to Ching's question closing her eyes and racing her nose. "we used to be friends."

"_Used_" I remarked.

"Oh, c´me on!" she turned to me "Don't be so harsh on me."

"Considering what you did," I mocked replicating her expressions. "I'm not being harsh at all." She simply ignored me this time.

From that on, the conversation flew from one theme to another, all evolving me somehow, yet I paid no attention to any of them. Just the same all humps and whatever-s made it thru my mouth.

The time kept going slowly. Maybe too slow. But after all, the school got to an end.


	5. Chapter 5

**Im back!! out of punishmet!! wii!! i can finally upload. **

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I was barely at the door when I saw her. She was there, waiting for me. My friends, was wearing her usual welcoming smile most people knew her for. Yi-ze was just as tall as me, maybe an inch higher or so. Her brunet straight hair fell to her hips where it danced around. On her face, her large green eyes lighted as she giggled towards me. She was really the pretty one of the group—when there _was_ a group.

"Hey!" she cheered "How's first day at school?"

"Great" I walked up to her "How's first day at _private_ school?"

"Awesome!" she almost screamed at me. "There's so many cute guys—there's this _really _cute boy, his name is Sosso…I think he likes me!!" sometimes it seemed all she cared about was boys, but I knew her better. She wanted _me_ to get a boyfriend.

"Well" I raised an eyebrow "_I_ met a guy, Abyo, who called me freak and I scared him to death!"

She busted out laughing "You really are going to get yourself arrested someday"

_Flashback_

"_You're weally going to get youself awested some day" a 5 years old Yi-ze giggled._

"_But you'd get me out,__ wite?" A small, innocent Selene asked somehow worried._

"_Sure! We're fwiends wite?" Yi-ze hugged her friend._

"_Well I'm coming too!" Hoh hugged them from behind "It'd be fun to get into a prison break!" he joked. Then they all laughed together as the friends they where. _

_End flashback_

"Hello" the perk-ish voice besides me woke me out of the memory.

"I'm still here!" I raised my arms surrendering.

"Great!" she jumped "you hungry?"

"No?" I just babbled whatever she wanted to hear.

"Also great!" She smiled widely "Now we can go train!"

"Train?!" my eyes widened "Now? Where?"

"At the forest" she da-ed me "I'm sure we can find a clearing"

"Alright" I gave up.

We kept walking for at least ten minutes. It was incredible how the village slowly turned into a deep, dark bamboo forest. Then it all was the same. We where probably just walking in circles. But I couldn't tell. Yi-ze looked so sure 'bout where she was headed. She was never in silence; Yi-ze kept humming different songs to herself, with her girlish hight-pitched voice. Her long brunette hair dancing on her back as she hopped in the bamboo maze she had taken us in. 'I'm sure we can a clearing' she said. To only think about it made me shiver. _Find_ a clearing. Was that what she was really meaning to do? Keep walking until we eventually found a clearing? I'd take us 3 days _running_ to cross the forest. Oh god. Sometimes I really wondered what was going on that almost empty head.

"Amm…" she was breaking the silence now. "We're almost there!" Uff. At least she wasn't improvising.

"By the way…" here came the by-the-way. That was never a good sing coming from _her_ mouth. "I found us some training partners"

"Yi-ze!" I called angrily.

"Hey they're the best ninjas in town!" she claimed finally turning back at me.

"For the last time, I won't get a boyfriend!"

"Will you at least look at them?" she pleaded

"Whatever." I glared "Just keep walking."

"But we're already there!" and we where.

And of course, luck was against me. Or maybe was it just Yi-ze had some natural instincts to pair me up with the last boy she should.

Yes, it was them; crouching on the floor stretching their legs _as_ if they could even touch us. _His _face dropped low as mine once our sights met crossing the clearing. _Perfect, _I thought, _just perfect_. With a fallen look I took Yi-ze's hand and dragged her along until we where out of the boys' sight.

"Do you know who _that_ is?" I pointed at them.

"Who? Abyo? Oh, he's a… "

"IT'S GARU!" I screamed. I almost felt their eyes on the bamboo wall that kept us apart.

"So what?" she spoke un-interested.

"That's the guy I should be proving is in love with Pucca! Remember?"

"Well, why are you doing it anyway? She isn't even paying."

"I…I" she glared "I don't know…but I wont stab her when asleep!"

"Well, make Garu fall in love with you and then wake her. You two make an incredible pair!"

"Yi-ze!" I was whispering now.

"What's going on in there?" Abyo screamed from behind. We both crossed the bamboo walls to meet our inappropriate guests. Garu was still blushing, thing which made me blush too.

"So" Yi-ze ignored the past events and marched to the same place the boys had been stretching, to do so herself. "What do you say 'bout a race to the village?" she cheered.

"Alright" Abyo volunteered "I'm in." it was obvious that a boy like Abyo would volunteer at anything that a girl like Yi-ze would say.

"You count" she stretched her right leg to her head. "We're all ready, right?" she looked at me with wide eyes. I nodded in response.

"On your marks" Abyo signed us to a line.

"Get set" she grinned, and somehow, before he could end the phrase, Yi-ze found enough time to whisper in my ear "_Garu's still looking at you_"

"GO!!" Abyo ran, but Yi-ze, who had always been the fastest little bitch I ever knew out-ran him in no time.

"Bite my dust!" she laughed passing by us.

Abyo was quickly left behind by the three of us. We ran like wind in-between the bamboo forest. The adrenalin flew through me. Everything happened so quick I didn't have time to realize when Yi-ze fell, leaving me and Garu on the lead. I glared at him. The wind didn't allow myself to open my eyes fully, but I could see well enough to see him wink. He _winked_ at me! My steps slowed for a second and he was ahead of me. Now _I_ wouldn't allow that! My feet raced with almost fury, but I was happy. I grinned for myself and ran even faster. My stomach began to ache as if kicked. But I wouldn't stop. Not yet.

The village was starting to shape in front of me. The red ceilings where already visible when something step in my way. A dark blue shape grew closer and closer until I collided with the police officer.

"Oh god!" I screamed out franticly "I'm truly sorry!" I placed my hands over my head protectively.

"I'm sorry girl," he spoke firmly "But I'll have to stop you for speeding. Change"

"What?" I jumped in surprise "I don't even have a car!"

"I don't make the laws. Change" he paused for a moment. "You know the rest. Change and out."

As the chief pushed me away, I gave a last pleading glare at Yi ze. "Remember that promise you made years ago?" she raised both eyebrows. "The one about jail?" She nodded, and half smiled before I was pulled away.

* * *

**Alright! now next chappie: coming soon! REVIEW**


	6. Chapter 6

The chief pushed me into the cell's dirty floor without much concern on my poor feet witch crashed with the door, tripping me over

**Well…sorry it's kinda late, but it came out longer than expected. **

The chief pushed me into the cell's dirty floor without much concern on my poor feet witch crashed with the door, tripping me over. My eyes slowly adapted to the dark, only to meet the eyes of the other prisoners. Sudden chills made me shiver as I crawled into a ball hugging my legs. The cold shocked me. I launched quick glares around the room to find a bunch bed with what looked like confy, warm blackest. I crept into them, hugging myself again and shaking with cold; my head heavy. I coughed a couple of times before my eyes drifted closed.

The sudden flash-backs shook my eyes back open. I couldn't quiet recognize the images. But I knew the exact moment they happened. My eyes wide with shock. The shivers where back. I _had_ been there, before; much before. Actually, 3 years and a month from now, me had stayed there for the night…well, much longer than a single night. I stayed until my parents held enough money to get me out. Would they be mad at thins. Their only daughter, stuck _twice_ in this dammed hole. My mind went back to Yi-ze. She agreed to get me out…didn't she? Probably. Maybe. Could be. Couldn't she?

_BAM_

My head turned wildly to the bathroom door, a shadow blocking the light.

"_That_" it spitted pointing at me "is _my_ bed". My face twisted mockingly.

"You can't kick me out" I sat up "just because you're a dammed ugly boy."

"_Wrong_" my mouth fell open. "I _can_ kick you out…and I'm _not _a BOY" she shoot blue lightening at me. I screamed and jumped out of the bed, which broke in two as I left it.

"I'm sorry!" My cheeks went bright red as I avoided more lightening.  
The shooting game ended, of course, with me, shivering on the floor, cornered into a small square she drew for me.

Eventually, my eyelids closed.

Black. His shocked face. Her red cheek. His laughter. Red.

I forced my eyes open. It was too…painful. It was long since the last time I recalled those unpleasant memories. I sighted. I felt the tears forming on my eyes. _Not yet_, I thought to myself, _not yet_.

A rock hit me on the head, followed by a '_piiiiisssstt!_' I groaned. Then it happened again. I moaned loader, half-lifting.

"Whut?" My eyebrows pulling together in a frown.

"It's me!" the voice whispered "Yi-ze!" I immediately stood up. "I came to get you out!!"

"How?" I called

"Whatever you do…stay in your cell!"

"Then, how will I get out, if I stay?"

"Just stay!" she raised her voice.

I looked up to see he face at the upper window. Wait. She wasn't tall enough to be reaching that window!

"How are…" I asked

"Oh!" she knew what I meant. "A friend is here!"

"Hey!" just as she said it, Abyo's voice screamed. I smiled when Yi-ze shishhed him.

I crawled back into a ball, waiting for the coming events to happen. Glaring at the dusty floor surrounding me my mind drifted into a mostly peaceful state. My sight pinned to the floor and my finger crossing endlessly above it. With fluid and straight movements my fingers danced across the flat surface. It wasn't until later I realized what I had written.

"Hoh" I read just louder than a whisper

"Won't you shot the he--" my new 'friend' screamed. And then it happened. With a incredibly loud noise, which covered the ear-bleeding voice of her a full sized van crossed the wall breaking the roof of the cell along with the rest of the main structure. My eyes went wide with shock. _Well_, I thought, _that's something you don't see everyday. _Then my mind went back to Yi-ze's warning.

"Girl!" I called the person on the other side of the room.

"Dogga." She corrected me.

"Whatever—Dogga, no matter what, we have to stay right here!" I called.

"Wow" she lifted her sight to the sky. "Did I hit you _that_ hard?" she laughed to herself and left.

I tried to calm down for a minute. Sat on the floor and breathed in and out loudly. But there was something that wasn't allowing me to reclaim the images from my dream: The van which crushed the walls was beeping endlessly at me. I turned angrily, my hair flying by me and my face twisted into a monster like frown, showing all of my teeth. To my surprise, as soon as my eyes met the driver, all of my anger disappeared instantaneously.

"Yi-ze!" I smiled warmly walking towards her.

"Hey!" she waved at me.

"How did—you cant drive!" I didn't care enough to hide my surprise.

"Well," her eyes drifted. "It's not that hard to let a car fall down a hill" she smiled.

"Weren't you scared?"

"Not a bit!"

Then the chief came with a bunch of keys dancing in his pockets.

"What happened here? Over" he glared at me. Yi-ze's eyes grew wide and her forehead folded sadly. She step out of the van and walked with her hands hidden in her back and her eyes looking straight up at Bruce.

"Well" she lowered her eyes to her feet. "I was kinda learning how to drive and it all went out of control." She half smiled. "But I'm okay"

Then Abyo came running from the back door. He breathed harshly for a few seconds and then smiled at his dad.

"See what I told you?!" His voice sounded like a challenge. "Se-se's too good to try to escape!"

Yi-ze smiled sweetly and nodded.

"Oh well. I'm letting you go easy this time girl. But no more speeding alright?" he warned me.

And so, I was off jail. But the worse was jet to come, home.


	7. Chapter 7

The door opened smoothly allowing me into the dark room

The door opened smoothly allowing me into the dark room. My eyes scanned for shadows finding them there, on the couch waiting for me.

"Selene" mom turned the lights on. "Where have you been?" her tearful eyes met mine.

"Mom it's only…" I glare at the wall-clock "2:17" I sighted.

"Where have you been?" she asked again

"I was at…" my eyes fell.

"You where at jail again…" her eyes froze mine, without blinking.

"Selene" dad stood up "Jail twice. We didn't raise you that way!" he took firm step towards me. "What did you do this time? If you…"

"Speeding" I cut him off. "I was set in for speeding" he busted out laughing.

"Speeding? You where sent in for _speeding_?" he repeated my words. "But you don't even have a car! Unless you…"

"She wouldn't steal a car." Mom spoke for me. "Remember that time she stayed locked in? She couldn't even open the door. How could she possibly steal it?"

"Cars have never been a friend of yours, have they?" dad was smiling. "That same time, you somehow managed to slide it into a tree. We had to buy a new car after that." They both laughed. "Look," he's tone was serious again. "I'd love to say it's okay, but it's not. So you will be punished. Tomorrow. After school. Fishing."

And we did. I got stuck in a boat with dad for about an hour 'till he admitted there were no fish at the dammed lake. Everything quiet, the birds for some reason refused to sing and the wind stayed cool, _un_-moving. The water was calm and transparent. It was _obvious_ that no fish was a mile close to us. But of course, I was being punished, and couldn't get out so easily or by the single fact that there where no fish to catch in our fishing trip.

"Selene," he said, rowing us back to the edge "your mother was really worried..."

"...and so where you." I rolled my eyes. That's what they always said when i got in trouble. "Oh, and yes, i know the rest."

"Do you really want to go back to Brazil?" He sighted

"If I'd be free from the mafia boys then yeah." I pouted.

"Who are the mafia boys?" he grinned

"Ah, Garu and Abyo." I sighted angrily

"Oh," he looked at me as if had said a magic word. "Garu is such a nice boy"

"_Why does everyone say that?_" i screamed frustrated "Besides he's got a girlfriend!"

"Girl, its okay to like someone..." he tried to rap his arm around me.

"I DON'T LIKE HIM" I screamed even higher.

"Sel, I don't think even the picnic-ers there believe that." I suddenly became aware of the group of five people gathered across a blanket in the edge of the lake staring at me, and blushed. One of them greeted me shyly with a hand. I mirrow the sing, with my face filled with shock

"Hey!" dad called "Yi-ze is there!" he clearly had a better eye that I did.

I almost didn't hear the thump of the boat against the ground as I jumped out smiling and rushing towards my friend.

"Hi!" she smiled warmly. I glared at the company.

"I still don't get why you hang out with the _witch_" Abyo whispered actually thinking i couldn't hear. She ignored him. I scanned the faces. Yi-ze, Abyo, Ching, Garu, Pucca..._Pucca_? How in the world had she woken?

I gasped. No, no, _no_! She couldn't...she shouldn't! It was all ruined! _No!_

"What is it with her?"a murmur reached me. I didn't care. Then i was smacked back to reality. Yi-ze was holding hardly my shoulder.

"_What in the world is going on with you?_" she glared at me, pulling me away from the rest. I looked up.

"It was you, wasn't it?" I gave back her glare

"Me what?" she looked offended. "It was you who screamed out of the nothing!"

"You woke her!" I spat aggressively.

"No I didn't!" She held back a scream.

"It's all ruined!" I pouted in frustrated tears.

"What is ruined?" she asked, cooler

"I don't know" my knees crashed in the soft ground.

"Look, I'm sure it'll be okay!" Then the idea hit me. It was time for stage two of the plan. I reached into my coat pocket and took out a small bottle.

"I have a plan" I stood up and wiped my tears. "Make sure she drinks this" I grinned evilly and handed her the thing.

"Selene! This is _poison!_" she claimed.

"I won't kill her, just make her sleep, _again_, however, I'm going for a swim"

"Selene! _No!_" I didn't need to hear the words to know the rest. _You can't swim! _And it was true.

I walked decisively towards the lake. Dad wasn't there. _Good_. I took of my shoes and sighted. With a step into it, chills shake the soul out of me. I took a deep breath and went inside. Trying my hardest to stay over the surface, i paddled deeper and deeper into it. Soon it became harder. Now I _was_ afraid. I shook my arms and legs hardly and gasped countless. The sky became further and further away each second, then it was all darker. The air was leaving me. I tried to reach back, but couldn't. I searched in every direction possible. There was absolutely anything. The fear grew greater. With a final gasp, what remained of air in my left, and my eyes closed unwillingly, only allowing me the last image of a black blur approaching.

I opened my eyes to the pinning light, a few shadows stood in it's way. _Them_. Coughing out water, i herd their voices. They where all around me, speaking in an unknown language. Then their words became clearer.

"Is she okay?" They said.

"Yes. I think so"

I stood up. My head span in every direction possible.

He took my hand gently, shy, and walked me towards the bench under the oak tree. I could feel my eyes wide open. He'd just save my life. Wich, I intencionally endangered. With a slow movement he took a tuft of hair out of my eyes and re-arranged it behind my ears. He's black eyes shining. Noise coming from everywhere around us. All of _his_ friends where there. Every one of them looking at us, not knowing if to gasp for me or cheer for Garu. Then, simply, he stood up and left. I looked at him, and half smiled. _It came out perfect_.


	8. Chapter 8

I walked avoiding every look i was given

I walked avoiding every look i was given. Without looking anywhere but my feet i made my way out of town, until with a bit of concern and shyness, i reached Tobe's hide out. From the outside, it looked far more intimidating than I'd had imagined. I gulped and took a step closer laying my closed fist in the wooden door. With a loud sight I slammed my hand slightly against it and waited for an answer. The door creaked slightly and a a dark corner crawled out to meet with the light. A chill reached me and i took a step in the darkness. The light came in blinding for the ninjas surrounding me, i took the call and readied my stance for a fight. The a familiar boy creepied out of a corner—Tobe. I frowned and lowered my head without loosing my sight. He smiled.

Challenging, i had to smile as well- All the eyes were on me, and my smile was wider. Then a strong music began playing in mye head. Staring with a split kick in mid air knocking down the two ninjas behind me. The rest all target to me, with luck i miss most of the stars flying around me and I smack anotherone's face. I kept on fighting until only one nija besides their so called _master_. With a playful smile I winked at him. He blushed brightly and in the moment he glared distracted at my main objective y flew a punch straight to his nose. Tobe was frowning, red with anger. He screamed for his ninjas to get up, yet none did. My smile hadn't left mesince the music began, until I met face to face with him, holding him up by his shirt. I hated to have to look at him, but i wasn't exactly taller than most boys. In the other hand, I had quiet a nice stature for a girl my age and... I fought the thoughts back with a shake and glared back at him. My eyes locked in his. No lenses this time, so he could see my freakish eyes madly staring at his. I told most people that I'd seen death with them and it became clear that the rumor had reached him.

"Where. Is. Hoh." I spat every word separately and clear, yet with unmeasurable rage. He started at me wide eyed.

"Don't you recognize me?" he asked with his hands gripped to mine and full with sweat. He _wasn't_ Hoh. I clenched my fingers further into his throat almost loosing control over them.

"No I'm _not_ him!" he pleaded for my mercy. I loosed my hands slightly allowing him to speak, without moving an inch of my dark firecy eyes. "I'm his _brother_!" My mouth dropped and as an immediate reaction y backed away my already-tired arms and stared at him with eyed. Then The doubts appear. _He could be lying_.

"What was your nickname, then?" I pointed at him a lazy arm, mostly lifting my fingertip.

"My stupid nickname" he muttered recovering his breath. "To-to-by" He avoided my sight with embarrassment. I gasped. It was true.

"WHERE IS HIM" I smashed him into the wall "who took him? Tell me everything. NOW!" I screamed harshly against his ears. He chuckled. "WHAT?"

"So it _was_ you" he grinned. "My brother's personal annoyance"

"What did you say?" I pressed my arm into his chest.

"He _hated_ you" that hurt. I backed away. All the emotions rising in my thought and knotting around it made it almost impossible for me to speak.

"_why?_" i managed to squeak out of myself. He laughed again.

"How'd you feel if this girl kept staring at you and being soft in fights and never speaking against you" those weren't reasons to hate me.. "He thought of you as a friend, who for some reason became a coward. And that was betrayal." His words made no sense but i had no other option but to believe him. But by that point I stop listening. With my resting strength i tried to keeps the tears inside me. From a corner of my eye, I could see him speaking to himself about what happened to my beloved after that day. I jut couldn't bare it. All I'd wanted for the past 2 and a half years was to look deeply into his eyes and blurry my head into his stone hard chest. But how was someone as desperate as me be able to look into the dark sea-deep eyes of him, knowing how regretful he was to be here. I was still in shock as the pain slightly creeper into my skin reaching for my heart. With my mouth still open my lugs pleaded desperately for air. My eyes, wet with the tears that no longer could be held inside me, and red with pain stared blankly into the nothing. It was all so bright, and the light was pushing me into some kind of sleep, until a word came that brought me up.

".._Garu_" My head flashed back to Tobe, to reality. I turned around. I was already mad, and his name wasn't exactly the best one to say at the moment. Tobe jumped a little when meeting my sight. Then he relaxed a little.

"Yes, once we get our vengeance, We'll both be welcomed into Hoh's arms" He spoke in slow hiss like a snake hypnotizing his pray. And suddenly, the urge to be close to him pushed the darkest memories out of their exile. My hands flew to my head as i tried to push them back. All the images in my head hunted me no matter where i tried to hide. _His face. Hers. Then red_, and somehow, what happened in between. I became suddenly aware of the brutal action I had made. The guilt washed over me. I deserved it. Everything I was mad for, I _deserved_ it! I closed my eyes shut, unable to open them. Until a voice called for me on the darkness.

"Choose wisely" And he was gone. With a sharp glare my eyes met the place where he had been, and my trembling feet somehow lifted me and i flouted to some corner in the bamboo forest. Then I left my tears loose, and all the sobs and cries free for once. I cried for hours. But I wasn't gonna let that ruin the rotten life i had gotten myself. And I wasn't going to change either. I was moving over. As everyone who knew me well enough wanted me to. _Garu_. Was he really the one who would take me out of the dammed hole I fell into every instant? Was he the one? Hope flooded me along with his face. I sight. It _couldn't_ be.

Faintly I lifted myself and looked at the sky. My stomach grumbled. I told mom I was eating with Yi-ze today. It was time to get back.

I began to step hushed towards the city. I wasn't exactly patient and I was mad. This wasn't part of the plan. _But there was no more plan_. This was too much. I was getting exiled to somewhere very far from Sooga today. I wanted to get away, _I needed to_.

There she was, at the edge of the village waiting for me. I didn't look at her, I was too mad to. Furry blurred my sight when I glared at the floor and our feet. She began to follow my quick step rushing to catch up.

"Has she taken it?" my voice was rough and raspy for the hours screaming in agony I spent deep in the bamboo forest.

"No... bu—" I cut her off. I didn't want to know much about it.

"Good. Tell her not too—Garu doesn't love her. Case out."

"Selene!!" She stepped in front of me, looking straight into my eyes. I felt strangely ashamed of my blood red eyes. "But, you where so sure..."

"Well Im not anymore okay?" I pushed her away with such strength she fell over. My only true friend stared wide eyed. I looked back at her. "I'm just not sure about anything anymore, okay" My voice creaked every word. Salty tears rolled down my eyes. I walked away. It was simply what I wanted to do about everything. Absolutely everything.

* * *

** A complete filler. But it was somehow (coughnotcough) necesary. Selene was missing her angst. :P Revew!! I knew it took me ages to update but I just dont feel like writting pucca ¬¬ never mind. Next two or three (when it comes out ¬¬) will be pure angst, fighting and time rasing. Then comes the Selene Flashback time and lastly the epiloge. well...actually I have three epiloges...I'll post them all in the a same document. Bye!!**


	9. Chapter 9

**well, I kinda felt like writing today...so here!! jeje, one of the long ones -º hope you like it !! **

The curtain floated ghostly many, many yards beneath me. But that just couldn't matter. As the streets figured in my way, the phantoms of my past came as shadows into my way. The watch in my hand beeped. _4:00_. My steps hurried. Ignoring the pain in my stomach, I ran further into the depths of my personal inferno. _No,_ I told myself, _I wont drop another tear. For no one else._ That same second I promised myself I'd never have to be saved again. I was much stronger than my stupid parents, the stupid kids at school, than Yi-ze, than _Hoh_. That was the best way to survive. Breaking the ties with the world. The tears turned my eyes into a deep red acid. Clenching my teeth to my lower lip until it bleed and farther. I wasn't stopping. _The demon runs again through Sooga's streets._ Yeah, I heard a teacher say so. And it was dead true. So they'd better watch out for themselves. Now I had nothing to loose. I would be alone. If I'd been able to resist the tears of my parents. To watch anyone close to me dye away. Why the hell would it hurt anymore. _Then what the hell are you doing here? You are seeking Hoh aren't you? _I shook my head violently. There was a doubt to be paid. Nothing else.

If Pucca had drank the poison, she should be able to feel half of what I thought I was feeling. His eyes came back to me in a blink. _No_! i shouldn't remember him. i _wouldn't_.

Had I known that holding the love inside me would ever hurt me this way. I had. But love had been so great. Love hurt. That was why I'd never love anyone else in my entire life.

The trees passed by me as rampages. Yeah, I was higher than the speed limit. So what? I was the demon remember? Who cared what I felt, so I didn't show my feelings. Who cared I'd lost the number one thing to me? Not even me anymore.

It seemed ages ago the I crossed the borderline of the village, and yet, that eerie feeling of being followed just wouldn't disappear. Chills ran all over me, and I was barely aware until a shadow so solid crossed my sight that it became impossible to ignore it. But I don't care--I just can't! how can I? All together is just to painful. I was stabbed in the back by my perfect man. My only friend thinks Im a maniac. i must be. Tears begin to run as I became aware of the truth. It was true. It all was. The puzzles of my life all become complete in a second as I realize how much of an idiot I've been. So many mistakes I've done, playing as it was all worthless. And suddenly, it was. All the help my friends, my parents had tried to give me, I threw it all away. After everything I did was harmful for them, and yet, there I stood like an bastard.

I collapsed. All I wanted was to have someone--anyone! proud of me. Why couldn't anyone think I was a nice girl? It is because you aren't! And you'll never be! I screamed to myself from the inside. No one was ever going to love me. I ruined everything for everyone around me.

In between spams of inside pain, my eyes slightly open. The ghosts are there. So present, so real. All staring into my tearful eyes. Severe and cruel, just wearing the plain truth of what they think of me.

I cry for hours--only what it takes to hold reality. I morph painfully into a new me, a stronger one. Closing my umbrella to the rain, becoming used to the water. But in my case, the drops have became fire, fire from the hell I come from.

I become a monster, a demon, an idiot, an annoyance, I become the most unlovable and stinking creature that I claimed to be. So much could it hurt to become myself? But the choice is made. I am Selene, the demon girl of Sooga Village. I can't care about that. I wont. And everyone who cared for me is now an idiot for doing so._ And Hoh? _I ask myself in a scared tone. I don't have to answer to myself. I'll never forgive him, and silently swear to let him suffer as much as he made me.

Once I stand with blood red eyes and black crow hair, I am strong again. I, for the first time, I am who I was meant to be. I'd never feel pity over a single soul. All I would do would be business. Nothing more. No more feelings would ever trespass me, none but the joy of hurting others. _Speaking of which..._

I shoot my leg directly into the shadows that followed me. More dammed ghosts. I grimace.

"Come out" I order.

"We already are--ge!" A male voice claims to my left--_now, speaking of idiots_. I claim the knife in my right pocket and slide it into my sleeve. With a punch, I manage to catch the breeze of a shadow passing away.

"Missed!" A girl voice spits in the same direction. "looks like you aren't as rude by..." I smile as she never had time to end the phrase.

Its said that devil always has a trick under her sleeves. I did. The knife slid away with my punch directly into, apparently, her throat.I laughed darkly, before, ignoring the mourns and cries behind me, I left.

And there it was, the one true thing I aimed for. The abandoned theme park.

Long, very, very long past Sooga village, a construction of at least 8 miles through a way in the forest. Long even before I was born, the park had been abandoned, and used as a gathering place for teenagers. But soon, the excitement left, and my trio moved in. After Ninjitsu classes, we'd leave and walk in between hanging curtains and broken mirrors. We would play tag and run smiling. But I rejected all happy memories and walked along the lawn, caring not to stare into the mirrors. The sun was alreadyl coming up. Just as plan darkness as I strode into the main tent. No one was there. I fell to my knees. It wasn't like I could spec him to be there.

"If you're here" My voice was rasp and menacing "come out now." No one answered.

"There's no point on hiding. I know you're here," i insisted. I could hardly belive my own words, but if he _was_ there, I was gonna be mean. "But its not like I care. I've learned your secret-Mr nicepants huh?" I stood again and step into the end of the tent.

"If you seriously thought I was that dumb, I'm sorry to disappoint you." I wasn't showing any sing of feelings. "Just wanted to clear things up. First. I'm no coward--I'd gladly break your nose for that if you'd care to appear."With a soft breath I moved on from that.

"Second, I am a much stronger girl of what you used to know. So breaking your nose wouldn't be a problem." I clenched my fist at the nothingness.

With a hand, I removed a curtain from my way and revealed a bunch of colorful bottles. Picking one with my left hand and attaching it safely into my belt, I turned back to the red-sun filled auditorium.

"And third" I began to walk away. "I moved over you. I know you always liked Yi-ze better that me, and guess what--I don't care! I'm completely fine over it, actually, I have a boyfriend and I'm--" And in a second, a face appeared besides mine like a single person had ever done before.

"Forth," he grinned, "you where never such a good lier." And as I met his voice over all others, I fainted.

**Jajajajaaja!! I love that last part!! I didn't want it to happen...But i just couldn't avoid it! I bet it totally sucks to be her. jeje, 'till next time!! Review!!**

**¡i¡i¡i¡i¡i¡i¡i¡i¡i¡i¡--me xx**


	10. Chapter 10

A soft beep woke me up. What time was it? My eyes opened slowly to the warm sun over them. The bright and sudden light blinded me for a second. I lifted myself to stare at the watch. My head spanned. _11:46_. God! I had to be home by now! Mom will be so worried—_no, I'm not worrying about anyone. _No One_ at all_. Then in a second everything came back to me. God no. _Please_ no! I spun over myself to see him there smiling. All of his features perfect as always. He repulsed me. I glared. How dared him.

Lifting dust, I stood back on my feet, checking on the little bottle on my hip. It was okay. Good. I kept walking.

"Wait!" he called from my back. I raised my step. His feet pushing on the ground alerted me. I ran, and I knew he was running behind me. Then, by my side. I tried running faster. Even with my lungs about to explode, I kept running like a herded animal running for its life. My head was thoughtless for about twenty seconds until his arms reached for me. As a defensive movement, I lifted my leg to his stomach in a sudden stop so that he collapsed against it to the ground. With pure fury, I crouched over him, my fist high pointing at my once love's nose.

"Dare." He called. Fatal mistake.

Some time, back then, I would have slapped him slightly and then we'd laugh it off. Some time, in that time, I wouldn't have dared to hurt him. It was strange the way love worked, that it wouldn't let me punch his freckled little nose until it broke. I wasn't afraid of blood, but somehow, love made it so that looking at his face covered by it became unthinkable. Love was strong enough to make me sacrifice my reputation, my friends, my teachers approval, and two long years of my life just to avenge his stupid headache. But after the blow, all that love became hate and anger. Some time, I would have let it go. But not this time.

I thought about it for a second before letting my hand fall over him. His nose didn't seem that attractive really. I redirected my fist, punching directly into his collar bone.

He gasped and shook me of. I rolled on the ground back to my crouching position.

"What the hell was _that_ for?" His hand went directly to the spot I hit.

"Ha!" I spat to his shoe. He backed away. My instincts told me to run. But, when had they ever helped me? I stood my ground still. Forcing my mouth close. My tongue tasted only movement was the soft blow of the wind on each others hair. His cuteness bothered did he had to look at me as if nothing ever happened. His dark green eyes set on me as if we where friends still. The soft, but marked musculature in his arms tensed. So did I.

I stood straight up slowly, not leaving my offensive stance. With a ironic smile, I waited for him to pounce over. He didn't. All his features bended, knowing there was something wrong. He was sad I was angry him. He was sad _I_ was angry? I chuckled. He was _so_ immature. Had this years tough him nothing? His face felt like a puppy dog's. I hated puppy dogs.

"Why are you mad?" he pleaded.

"Do you even_ care_?" I stamped my foot. "_Why_ would you even care? We're not even..."

"Friends?" It was an offer.

"Don't you_ dare_ call me that!" I screamed, tears forming again. I kicked directly to his face, and missed, before running again.

"Selene!" He called from the distance. I needed to get to Sooga. _Soon_.

My eyes stung like bees with every step. The wind became ice in my face, playing through my hair, pulling it in the opposite direction. But I couldn't stop. Not even when I had to open my mouth for air, causing intense pain to my rib. Not even after a wrong step that twisted my ankle completely. I had to run. I just had to! All the pain put together wasn't worse that looking at him directly in the eyes and pretend that nothing ever happened in between us. To let him pretend that we where still friends, that we would laugh it all away like the old days. So I kept running until the red buildings began to shape on the horizon. I inhaled more and more air, all I had to do now was to reach them.

My mussels ached as in fire at the sudden stop I made. I glanced back to the forest. He was gone. I smiled. The the exhaustion reached me. My knees gave up, dropping me to the ground. With a sight I smiled. Who ever said you couldn't run away from your fears?

I herd steps rush towards me.

"Selene!" It called. I couldn't recognize the voice. I turned my head, but my sight blurred. "Selene!" I still didn't know who called again.

Arms rapped around me trying to lift me. I resisted. I was too tired to do anything. The arms insisted. Then they tried shaking me. The voice said something else but I didn't understand. I knew he or she was desperate but I couldn't help. Warm hands took my by the cheeks. A face standing before me. It took me long to recognize Yi-ze's face. All of her features turned and twisted with a combination of doubt and fear. Her hair for the very first time was a complete mess. She began to say something that i couldn't still understand. She slapped me.

Everything began to get clearer. She was _crying_. "Please!" she begged "You _have_ to get up!"

All I could tell was that she was begging and terribly afraid of something.

"I can't" I mumbled over my heavy breath. She begged again. Yi-ze tried desperately to lift me, as I kept trying to tell her to stop. That I couldn't. But she kept trying, which meant something was seriously wrong out there.

More voices echoed in the background. Then I began to shake. No. She did. The noise got closer and closer. I turned slightly. It seemed the entire village was out there. My friend screamed and her words became too quick to understand. They where looking for something. Fear rushed my veins. I Knew what they were looking for. And they found it.

"It's the witch! Get her! Get her!"

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**A shorty, ^-^ well, we're really close to the end now! wait for next chappie! Review! **

**-love, me  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**Muahahahaha, the big finale! I think I got over exited with this...**

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It all began to shape before me. The crowd. The fire. The screams. The fear filled tears running down Yi-ze's cheeks. And I couldn't move.

I knew it was all happening, but my body nor mind could response thanks to the exhaustion. All I could do was to sit there, inanimate, not being able to feel fear nor curiosity. It was just the plain acknowledgment of it. I know I should have felt horrified. I should have tried to run. Maybe, I should simply have told my friend to run without me. She wouldn't and I knew it. I should have asked anyway. But I didn't.

I didn't feel stupid for not feeling. I just didn't feel nor did anything that wasn't automatic.

They where getting closer. Yi-ze was seriously troubled. I wanted to do something. And I couldn't.

I tried real hard to feel anything at all. But not even when the crowd gathered in a circle around me screaming words I couldn't understand, was I able to do anything.

Then, I died.

Death was peaceful.I sat there, like I before, watching death block the sun and take me in its arms. We flied across the woods and crossed back into the city. His cold arms rapped safely around me as if I could scape. As if there was a point on trying. The numbness began to fade away from me, but the will wouldn't come back. With time I came to realize that now I could move my fingers. And I didn't. I knew that I could fight my death back. And I didn't. I didn't because with my strength, the feelings came back. Now I could think of Hoh with full acknowledgment of the pain it caused me. I could think of all the wrong things I did and never fixed. I now knew that I left my parents believing I was a monster. Now that I knew I should be feeling this things, according to the promise I made to myself, it hurt to know that same promise had brought death to my only friend. I entirely felt my self betrayal. I entirely hated myself.

_Its better this way, _I thought.

And it was. This way I wouldn't hurt anyone ever again. Who would miss me. I was sure my parents could replace my with a better daughter and..._and_..._someday, while I'm rotting in hell...._I couldn't think farther than those words. I didn't want to, for I knew the thoughts that would come next. I would be sorry. And I shouldn't be. I wondered how it was possible for a heart to ache so much once after death. As much as I had hoped, death wasn't a peaceful end. I seek comfort on the only way I could. I hugged tightly the death angel that carried me away. He stop. The feeling of his eyes on me froze the pain for a couple of seconds. For a strange reason he was warm. I couldn't really tell it was a he, but heck did I want to think so. A female angel would just be too much like my mother. Always loving, always caring, and I left her as the mother of a demon. I clung harder as he took flight again.

A male carrier, on the other side, seemed to me like a mixture of father and Hoh, both brought together to say goodbye. I couldn't feel guilty for hurting the bastard Hoh was. I could almost taste the sweetness if he was in half the pain I was. Then dad, he made it all easier to hug.

In fact I loved my parents. It wasn't their fault I was whom I was. It was my own fault all because of that fateful day. My fist clenched at it's thought. The day that had brought all the pain and misery to those around me rather than me.

I hadn't always been the devil's child. I was brave, and proud. I was a little innocent girl walking the streets with my two best friends, when, all of a sudden, _it_ happened.

I dare not to think about that day. But the day afterward was all too clear. It was the day that rumors began to shape my witch craft. I had traded my soul for infinite power. And in fact, I was the strongest nine years old the world had ever seen. Yi-ze lost all of her friends, because she stayed by my side. Hoh ran away, I am not sure if for shame or fear. Fear, I'd rather think. Father got hate letters for me every morning. We where cursed a million times. Then, I was sentenced away to the other side of the world.

And all I did it because of him. The one who's face had been hidden in the shadows of my sight for all my journey. My own personal angel of death, in some way. _He_ was my murderer. It had been he! Not me!_ Yes!_ Glee warmed everything to the bottom of my toes; He was to blame! I would face whatever it came, for I knew it was. I stretched my arm to find solid ground underneath. Great. Now, I would stand up and face whatever came, for it was clearly not the end. But then, I opened my eyes.

It was him.

I looked up and he was still there. I blinked twice and rubbed my eyes. It couldn't be. But it was. Everywhere around me devolved a world suddenly new all over again. All windows and doors where closed at the Goh Wrong, more rather blocked, for some reason. I whispered almost out of breath words not even I understood. My body lifted softly into the air for second. Tears coming from my eyes. I wasn't dead. I _wasn't_ dead. The idea of a second chance ran through my veins. I had to stop it. I couldn't...I...I shouldn't. No, please don't. I begged to heaven to take me back. I hated present I didn't ask for. I just wanted to go back to grave. I was too weak to confront second chances. If I'd failed once at life how could they give it back?

_It had been better that way. Way better. _

However, as I had experimented over the last few lifetimes of mine, life wasn't fair. It kept hitting you over and over where it hurt the most. It happened to be that every morning I gave a smile to the world, I was paid back with a pound of misery. Whenever I did something good, it'd be smacked right back at me. That's why I stopped trying. Since long ago, I'd slowly given up my hope for everything. I had hoped to.

And as life is plainly itself, I couldn't. I hid it in the darkest corners of myself along with my pity and dreams, but it never left. It smacked me constantly back with the face of a now forgotten boy. I was all his fault that I had been there in the first place. The boy who now stood before me. The one who quietly morphed into a ninja now know as Garu.

I backed away staring blankly. It was him. Now, along with my second chance to live, he was there, to take it all over again. No. I refused to let him hit me from the back ever again. But unconsciously I opened the right way for him to do it.

I punched him directly into the face. Two arms raped around mine as if I where an animal. I growled as such until the hands of an angel reached for my cheeks. They felt warm on me, filling me with the sent of cheri as she always smelled.

"Selene, please, listen to me." My only friend begged, "Your gonna get yourself in prision again."

I lowered my head in shame. "Why?"

"Don't you know what you just did out there?" She lifted me to look right into my face. She was angry. Now so was I.

"Its not the first time I've killed someone." I said. shaking my arms violently. Ching let go of me to cover her mouth as she gasped. They all stepped away. The three chefs, Dada, Yi-ze and Abyo. All but Garu who looked curiuosly up. "Oh, you know it well, Yi-ze. If it wasn't for me, Pucca woulnd't be here in the first place. "

A common gasp escaped each of their lips; most of them shacking in fear. Yi-ze stepped back until her back hit the wall. I watched her motionlessly as she fell to her feet, taking her shaking hands into her hair, whimpering over her red sore eyes. She was devastated.

"Yi..." I tried to call her.

"Don't." She shoved her sight away from mine. Then a voice came from behind.

"You dared hurt our Pucca"

"Now..." a second voice complimented.

"You shall pay!" Then there was fire coming from my back.

Time went by slowly as I turned to face a fate worse than death. Every friend who I came to know was now faced against me. Only Yi-ze remained shaking in the floor. There was fire coming for me from one of the chef's pan. I tried to avoid it, but he was too close. The red hot fire set on my hair burned all the way to my face. I desperately dashed my arms to it in order to put it of when a butcher knife flied by me chopping the piece of hair that had been on fire, as I by miracle managed to get my hands out in time. Another one came by. I dogged. Out of my blind spot, suddenly there was a kick in my stomach. I was left without air, holding my belly for a breath. There where several more kicks in my entire body as well as a fire set on my leg. I shook it of screaming, when a sword secured my pants to the floor, merely cutting through my flesh. A second sword secured my arm. I was safe of again. My face was covered with punches coming from a pair of jockos. I lifted my free arm in self defense only to have it pulled away. Then the beatings stopped. They all stood watching me suffer for an instant.

I had to fight back.

Ignoring the soreness in my pinned leg, I raised the other kicking into one of my captor's knee. He screamed in pain and the one holding my arm ran to succor him. I lifted my arm immediately, slicing the sword out of my mussel screaming as I did, then moved over to my leg. They tried to stop me again, but I fought it back. Reaching out with my nails, I managed to leave the circle to stand again. I looked up to find a dark face covered in tears and shaking in madness. And so, Garu broke his vow.

"How dare you" He spat, lifting his sword. I took a step back in order to avoid it. The metallic click when it smashed against the floor caught the other's attention. They turned to me all charging to strike. I dogged. He charged again, as did everyone else. I tried to jump, but my leg wouldn't let me.

The fight went on, until I was left almost breathless. Most of my opponents where left unconscious in the ground. Yi-ze remained in fetal position. I shook as my body ached in every single part. I tried hard for them not to notice, but of course, they did, or if they didn't then they would, when someone kicked right into my wound. I could feel the bone creaking, dropping me to the ground. I suspected more pain. It didn't come. I breathed hardly with worry holding back the screams.

"Selene…" I could swear I herd someone calling my name faintly in the lacking light. My heart was beating in my ears, too hard for me to hear it clearly.

"Sel…" it insisted. There was a clinging metal sound from my back.

It sent chills down my back, like when someone clinges an nail to a board. I turned slow motion to the cryptic sound. My every bone shivered with a third call for my name.

"_Selene!_" I stared at Yi-ze screaming and lifting her body like a dog pointing somewhere behind me with the tip of her noise.

My reaction was quick with fear and adrenaline, I turned around and as soon as his image crossed my sight I rolled over swiftly, but it wasn't fast enough. With a sudden pressure, his sword clinched me to the ground through a space close to my collar bone. I gasped for air, my eyes opened wide and my chest lifted unwillingly. He hadn't sliced my heart; I could feel it beating hardly and strongly under my skin. Everything was wet. As if I'd fallen into a frozen ocean. I couldn't lift myself to watch my own death. My breath grew harder. It was getting harder to get it, or even to move. I couldn't find myself. The only thing I felt was the pain in my chest that pounced against my skin. I was all black. It all had faded away into that fatal darkness.

Only a light stood on my way, but something brought me back. Suddenly, my mouth filled with metallic taste until I couldn't hold it longer, and with a cough, my face filled with massive blobs of my own blood. I could feel myself again! But the happiness only lasted an instant as the pain filled my whole body from head to toes. I knew something was really wrong. Maybe, it was worse than the wound I imagined on myself. Was it truly that bad? Everyone was watching. I could almost feel the sights on us, but _my_ sight concentrated on my murderer; he was covered in blood, _my_ blood. His eyes grew wide with fear. He retrieved his blood covered sword from my chest with a clean draw that raised my body with it. Even more pain came after that. I screamed proving me alive. Then everything went blurry as I smacked my head back down to the icy floor. The blurry spot that became of him backed away. I felt warmth. Only on my head, but after the freezing sensation I had before it felt strangely comforting. The ocean was back, only warmer this time.

Then I realized it. Everything was lost. Oh, god, how I hated realizations at this verry moment. There where screams around me, cries I could not hear. Only my own heart beat reached my numb ears; even my own thoughts where dizzy. I would never get to see that bastard Hoh's beautiful face ever again. I would never be forgiven for the things I did, I would never forgive myself. Countless tears washed the blood from my cheeks at the thought of my uncompleted duty. Wait. Perhaps I _could_ end it. With unsuspected strength, my shaking hand reached my pocket. The tonic was there. I _could_ save Pucca from her deathbed. If I couldn't avoid mine

"Garu" I called. My voice was almost a whisper filled with more blood. I coughed red again. Gathering all my strength, I pulled the small bottle open and filled my mouth with the liquid. I only hopped the blood wouldn't ruin it. The he was there, besides me as a blurry black dot. He's fearful trembling hand lifted my head as spikes. He was close enough now. I took the opportunity and closed the gap between his lips and mine, pushing his mouth open and spitting the tonic into his mouth before falling back into his hand. "Kiss her" I pleaded as more tears formed into my eyes. He seamed to understand and ran towards his loved one. Only they became unexpectedly clear to me. He keeled in closer as tears covered his eyes. He kissed her once. Twice. Three times before she stood up besides him. She was alive! It had worked! And I gradually smiled. I somehow felt ready for what was surely about to come.

The pain was truly unbearable, but somehow, the energy ran through my body, allowing myself to roll on the floor just to get a better look of the romantic scene. My last will had been heard. I glared at them from above, and as Garu kissed her a last time, with true excitement, I knew my job here was done, sifting into the sweet unconsciousness I had now, for so long, been waiting for.

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**wow, that was long! Now, I really dont know what ending to make...sad? happy? sappy? well, I have one more chapter to choose. I might aswell kill her just here. =P**

**whatever. Revew!  
**


	12. Chapter 12

**Its really short, this one. I don't like it, but there wasn't much to say :(**

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I wanted to open my eyes, I tried, but the darkness had sealed them closed bringing back the images I pray to forget.

"We're officially ninjas now!" cheered Yi-ze.

"I can't believe we actually did it!" I agreed. The third face to my left just laughed, and we shared his glee.

It was much of a long time ago we last shared anything good. Things can change awfully in three years; much more of what I am able to bare without streaming tears down my face.

If you could have seen us, so happy, so full of hope, would you have guessed we'd become who we are now? We are children, robbers, _murders_, rude, helpless, nothing of what any parent's would ask their children to become. We are mistakes and shame. When so much was expected of us—the youngest generation to ever graduate, we are perfection corrupted by the streets and the pain of a loss. But we didn't use to be.

How innocently we started to wonder thought the streets, as three friends who just got a diploma. How quick where we corrupted by the same.

It was all his fault, all the tears, all the pain, it was all _him_. I wonder, how would life had been, those three wasted years. Those misty days; I remember so clearly how I pushed myself to the extremes until it became maddening. How it began with choosing, as simply, the wrong path.

You see, when ever we where walking home, we got ourselves three options of where to go first. That noon we unconscious decided to walk Hoh home first, taking the road through the forest, unknowing what awaited. We laughed endlessly punching threes to show off to ourselves.

Happiness for those times is something so subtle that I hid ever so well. But, after all, it is the last good memory I have, that road is the phantom of anything good. The place were cheesy songs took me, the hiding place for my smiles. The sharp end between I and the demon I became.

His foot steps still echo eerily against every side of my skull. The way dust swirled against his dusty boots when he approached us.

"Cheers for the three ninjas!" Yi-ze was creaming at the time, "Us!" when he answered.

"And how does that make a difference" We spanned on our toes sharply. I cannot tell what went through their mids at the moment, but mine stopped. His voice was like snake ready to pounce fangs frist against us.

"Does having a title make you stronger," He approached with hostile steps towards Yi-ze. I used to be so weak back then, to trust on luck. I wish so hard until today that I had done something when he lifted her by the neck. "Does it help you stop me, pretty?" He reached for her lips ending the short space between them. She twisted and punched and tried to scream, as helpless intents to get away.

"Stop it!" Never had I heard him so angry. He broke the kiss letting her fall hardly against the ground. I remember being frozen by her tears, trying my hardest not to step away.

"Does it make _you_ stronger?" He pushed Hoh against a tree.

"I don't need a title to break your nose Ron. You're just a—" Ron throwing his fist against my beloved's face. I jumped out of the way of his fall. Covering my mouth not to gasp.

I do not realize how I was able to watch how Ron, a failed ninja, hurt my one love so badly. How I stood clear to his blood, and breath through his screams. How I resisted the endless seconds of his suffering. Yi-ze had collapsed besides a tree. The image mixed with the closer memory of her avoiding my sight at ay cost back at the Goh Wrong. Hoh was hurt. Staring at me with a mixture of my past victims. All of their eyes set on me, asking for mercy, praying, underestimating me, _forgiving_.

I tried to shake it all away. I wanted to wake more that ever, it was coming and I could feel it. I tried to scream, to break, I just _had_ to leave! No, no no, _no_. This was the part of the memory that I wanted hardest to leave. The point where I'd wake at my dreams. But this was worse than a dream, and it was here torturing me. What would I give just to be able to scream. If I could only close my eyes to this horror movie of my own; But my eyes where already closed, and there was no running away now. I was too late.

Too late for me, for my life, for my sanity, but most importantly, that precise second became the dead end for Ron.

I could swear my sight turned red. I cannot name the exact feelings that went through me at the time, but I am sure it wasn't good.

Nor where the images that flashed by me next. The way that my hands filled with his blood and the way he pleaded for mercy I never gave.

I wish every second I could forget the way his face distorted in cries afterward. His nose was broken several times and so where many of his bones. I do not know what strength came over me that day, for i remember no pain coming from any of my bruises. I knew my leg was broken. He had given a fight as well, but I felt no pain, I kept going. I dragged my numb buddy over back to Hoh, taking his training swords.

What came next is even worse than before. Because this time, I actually enjoyed it. I grinned madly as he screamed for mercy covering his face. I smiled when I felt his ribbs break under the wooden sword and at the way his arms became bright red with bruises. At knealing besides him to cut his breath with my hands. Laughed at his blood. Then the police arrived, holding me away like an animal the first time; dragging me away from the frozen his frozen body. And how, it all again, fadded to darkness.

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**Now review!! I orders you!!**


	13. Chapter 13

_Well, dream time was over. _

_There was no going back. No more second chances. Nothing else. At all.o wind, no noise, absolutely nothing as I woke, it was simply over. I can safely assure endings are never happy, and goodbyes are as cruel as myself. I can tell by experience that anything begun with a Once Upon a Time is not too end well, if it ends at all. You are most probably against that. Well don't be. Cant you see all happy endings aren't endings a t all. They're just stories cut__ short at the second they're happy. But a true end can only be said in tears. Human beings refuse to believe in this endings. They,_ us_, we like to believe that any end is just some sort of transaction, that there might be something after. But there isn't. Some time, our stories are cut short, even if they're not at their happiest. A Jonathan Kepler said things never ended. He thought that the missery, the struggle, the grief, we went through once, we would go through again. I personally believe he was afraid of death. That he'd rather believe in going back to his misfortune that to face death. I don't. I want it to be over. Soon. I want to never wake up, to remain in a enclosed sleep-like state, unable to thing. Unable, to dream, to hope. Safe from getting my hopes broken once and twice and every time I hoped. I am glad to say, we'll all end. However, there are certain things that never end. They just repeat itself over and over again. Like seasons. Unfortunately, we're not seasons. We are human beings; and as much as you refuse to take it, we will end. And I'm ready to face it.  
_

My eyes where, painfully, slung opened. All lights where out. Only shadows stood in the way of my sight. There was a sudden grudge in waking up by myself. I stared at what should be my hands. The tip of my fingers shaking violently. I bend them into a fist holding them too tightly. It was awfully cold. I blinked repetitively, as the slightest ray of moonlight hurts me. It takes a while for my eyes to adjust to the lacking light. Then, I found I wasn't alone. It was worse yet. Far worse. As I tried to remember my dream, the images of those who lied sleeping in the hospital bedroom suffering for my cause. I could imagine mom's and dad's face when I woke. Even if I couldn't tell how long I'd been out, I could tell they knew by now. And there, in the darkness, their serene faces lying one against the other, haunted me with the illusion of anger that would replace them. Haunted them with the pity that mother would feel, the shame. They where ashamed of me. Who wouldn't--when even I despise my own face for this seconds, I repress myself for feeling what they would.

My parents always gave me the best, it wasn't them who shaped me into a demon. No, I was hauled by shadows, black crouching figures who wouldn't flee with the lights. They where not to blame. It was always me.

Next up, Yi-ze. If anyone should be there, that was her. She was such a good friend. After so much I'd put her through, I always had for sure she'd be there. There wasn't a single way to stop her. Often I wonder why she was so stubborn. Yi-ze was probably the only person who saw that old Selene I used to be when she stared into my eyes. And I just kept hurting her over and over again. Devising what she thought was my soul. Why couldn't she tell that wasn't me anymore. That is what hurt her. My ghost. The ghost that hid in the gloom of thoughts, tempting from the mirrow of my eyes. It was her! Not me. not me. _not me_.

There was no one else in the room. My heart fell. For a stupid reason I thought there would actually be someone else! Anyone else...maybe even...No! I scream myself mentally not to ever say the name again. I shook forceful until my head banged the window. Me hands hustle to the spot.

Everything hurt. _Like they would--wouldn't. I wouldn't let them. No more, I chose. No more hurt, no more pain. Nightmares should be over for them as they would be for me._ I stand lumpish holding up from the night table.

_Then perhaps, pitty might fall upon my memory. Maybe, if my luck runs high, I might be forgotten. All my mistakes earased from the mind of men. I picture them smiling; they'd where so cheerful, smiling widely and opened for the world._ I smile, suddenly feeling well for all of them. As I do, smiles can only take me to a single place; _with them_, the people I care for the most. The warmth claims my body, ravages into me..._No._ Dream time's over. For all of us.

The shivering breeze slid in by the same window I left. Yeah, I should be forgotten.


End file.
